Some Secrets Best Kept
by Srellet
Summary: ONE SHOT.  Princess Leia risks her life for Han with disasterous results.  Complete.


I don't own these characters.

SOME SECRETS BEST KEPT

Princess Leia was unceremoniously dropped upon the wooden table. It happened so fast that she didn't have a moment to register the pain in her head caused by it slamming against the hard surface. But after, after in the quiet when she had more time to process the event, she came to the horrible realization that it wasn't just her head that had been damaged.

Leia glanced at Han from beneath her long lashes. He sat a short distance nearby her, holding his head. She liked to think that he sat in that crouched position because was in physical pain, but no one laid a hand on him. All the hands were on her. If he had physical pain, it would be easier for her to handle. She knew that was a terrible thought, but she didn't know how to respond to him when he was like…like this.

"What were you thinking?" Han's voice broke the silence. He spoke only slightly louder than a whisper, but she still jumped as if he yelled at her.

_Of you,_ was what she wanted to say, but those words would never escape through her lips. Leia shook her head, "I don't know." She stared at her hands. _Please don't be angry with me._ But she knew he wasn't angry with her. It just felt like he was.

Then the girl felt his eyes on her. She shifted her weight and turned slightly away from him, from his scrutiny. Normally his eyes upon her would incite a blush that ran from her toes to her cheeks. Now she paled under such perusal. _I'm okay,_ she wanted to scream, but she knew he wouldn't believe her, even if it happened to be true.

Han abruptly stood up, and Leia cowered though he wasn't at all near her. She felt guilty for her involuntary action; she knew he'd never hurt her. She had known that from the moment she met him on the Death Star despite his hard talk and empty threats. She looked up at him, but he didn't notice. He had taken to pacing in small, angry circles. She pressed her hands against her ears to block out his footfalls.

_Stop. Stop. Stop! _"Stop!"

Her voice bounced off the walls, startling both of them. Han stared at her. His hazel eyes were as wide as his mouth was open. He slowly ran a hand over his eyes and through his hair, "I'm sorry."

Leia winced as if she was struck. The last thing she wanted him to do was to apologize to her. Han Solo never apologized to her. Not before…she didn't want that now. She inhaled as she composed herself, "Don't say that."

"What?"

Leia shook her head, "Don't apologize."

"I'm sor—" It was Han's turn to wince as if he was struck.

Leia looked away. _Can't we get past this? Can't we forget it happened like everything else? _But she hadn't forgotten Alderaan or Vader or the stink of the sterile cell in which she was kept. Leia bit her lip and hugged herself. If only she could forget…

"It's okay, Han," she gazed up at him as he came to a stop in front of her. _It's okay. I'm okay. Please be okay with that._

Han's hands rested on his hips as if they didn't know what else to do. His head was tipped down, and there were his eyes again. Leia rallied up all her courage not to look away. _Don't you dare feel sorry for me!_ She wanted to yell at him, but what could she say? The last thing she wanted was to start a fight. She didn't want to fight with him if there was no chance she'd win, and she knew he'd win any argument at this moment.

Han crouched down in front of her, balancing on the heel of one foot and the toe of another. He rested his elbows precariously on his knees, and they stuck out at odd angles, creating insect-like shadows on the wall behind him. He smiled grimly into her face, a sad, apologetic smile. She wanted to ask him, what was he apologizing for? He did nothing to her but rescue her from another dire situation. Why would he be sorry about that? If anything, she should be the apologetic one for making him come to her rescue once again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she twisted her fingers together.

Han ran a finger along her cheek, inciting a shiver in her, "Aw, Leia…" but even the wise-talking Han Solo didn't know what to say.

Leia stretched her lips into a smile that had no hope of ever reaching her eyes. Han would know it was forced, she was certain about that. But she had to do it for him. _I was only thinking of you._

Han sat back on his haunches just centimeters in front of her, commanding all of her attention. That was a lot to demand from her at the moment. Her fingers deftly fiddled with the stray strands of hair that fell out of place. In a matter of seconds, her hair looked as if it were just styled, as if no one had messed it up in the first place. Leia knew Han was impressed with this particular talent she possessed, even if he never said so. She had caught him watching her do this believed-to-be impossible feat on more than one occasion. She may have been young, but she knew the meaning in his eyes as he inconspicuously stared at her.

However, this time he looked as if he was going to be sick. Leia bit her lip. Fixing her appearance didn't fix anything, not for him. And if not for him, then not for her either.

Han sighed, "How could they send you here? Alone?"

_I sent myself,_ Leia returned to twisting her fingers in her lap.

Han's jaw clenched and his fists tightened. "I'm gonna kill whoever sent you here, no matter what their rank is," he swore.

"This is no one's fault," Leia placed a hand on his thigh. _No one's fault but mine._

"Like hell it is!" His words were sharp but his touch was soft. He stroked the hand that was on his thigh, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from crying.

"It's my fault!" The princess pulled her hand from his grasp. "There's no one to blame but me."

"How can you say that, Leia?"

_Leia._ She never thought she'd wish for him to call her one of the inane pet names he had for her. Right now, she wanted nothing more. "I can say that because it's true, Captain Solo!" she expelled with more force than she meant.

He gave a start, "'Captain Solo'?"

He looked as if she slapped him, and that just made her want to cry even more. "Han," she closed her eyes.

Han grabbed her face with both of his hands, forcing her to look at him. She wanted to keep her eyes closed, to never open them up again, but… "You can't blame yourself for this," his thumbs moved back and forth against her skin in a futile attempt to comfort her.

Leia pushed his hands away, "Yes, I can."

"What?" the hurt was clear in his eyes. "You're still playing the martyr?"

The princess narrowed her eyes on him, "Shut up!"

Han's jaw jutted forward, but he managed to restrain his emotions, "Just tell me what you were doing here."

Leia shook her head, "I…I can't."

"Why not?" Han snapped. "Top secret? You think after all the effort I went to rescuing you _again_, I'd deserve to be treated better than a stranger."

"Please, Han," this time it was her hands that found his face. This minute action commanded his attention, gave her back the control of the conversation. "Don't be angry with me," she leaned in and peered into his face.

And she watched his hardness melt away. He smiled at her, an apologetic smile, but Leia was okay with that. "I'm not, Leia. I just…" there was a loving lilt in his voice, something she never noticed before. It both thrilled and scared her. His words trailed into a sigh that communicated more than any words could. But Han didn't seem to know that, "Is the rebellion really worth risking your life over?"

_Your life is worth more, _again, words that Leia would never say out loud. She dropped her hands to her lap and looked away. She remained silent, knowing how he'd interpret this silence. It was better that way.

"Aw, Sweetheart," he awkwardly scratched his head behind his ears, "you're gonna get yourself killed for no good reason."

Leia pressed her lips together; it was time to turn the tables on him. She lifted her large brown eyes to his, "How did you know where to find me?"

"Luke."

Leia rolled her eyes and shook her head, inciting a short laugh from Han, "He was only looking out for you, and it's a good thing he was."

Luke had managed to get the where out of her; he had a knack of doing that with her. But he didn't get out the why. Leia held the why close to her heart, a secret to be shared with no one. Images of the revenge she would take out on Luke for leaking her whereabouts flooded her mind. She stared down at her hands as her emotions calmed. If he hadn't told Han her whereabouts, much worse would probably have happened to her. And probably wasn't so improbable.

Han caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, "He wouldn't tell me what you were doing here."

Leia placed a hand on his and gently pushed it away, "Because I didn't tell him."

Han's eyes narrowed, and his brow furrowed, "I find that hard to believe."

"I don't care what you believe," she put her hands on her forehead and closed her eyes.

Solo watched her, and she knew he was deciding whether or not to believe her. She wished she really didn't care what he thought, but she did. She expelled a shaky sigh. Why should he believe her? She had already told so many lies.

"I wonder where they are," Han glanced over his shoulder and scanned the empty street which lied beyond the alley from which they waited.

Leia squeezed her knees to her chest. It seemed as if they were waiting for hours, as if the sun would rise at any second and erase all the shadows in which she could hide. But the hours were only minutes, and the nightmare she survived, they survived, was closer to them than either wanted to admit.

"You have to give Chewie time to find him," Leia whispered. "You guys should have stayed together." But then she realized how relieved she was that Han found her by himself. Han knew how to pretend to forget. Luke lacked that talent. "He could be hurt," she added.

"Luke?" Han shrugged. "Nah, I sent him to look for you in a place I knew he wouldn't find trouble. And I have Chewie trailin' him so he shouldn't be that hard to find."

Leia's lips started to stretch into a smile, but then they seemed to change their mind, "Luke finds trouble wherever he goes not matter who's covering him."

"Not this time," Han smoothed her hair. "I made sure of it."

The princess wanted to ask how he could be so certain, but she didn't. Her questions would only lead to his questions, questions she'd rather not have to face. Neither said anything, though their minds ran rampant with whats and whys and ifs. Han reached out and grabbed her hands, and both of their eyes roamed over the purple fingerprints that formed rings upon her wrists. Leia braced herself for his anger. He always seemed to get angry when she got hurt. This time, though, was different. Han raised each hand in turn and placed the gentlest of kisses upon each bruised wrist.

"So, the rebellion out of a good chunk of credits?" he asked after he laced his fingers with hers.

"No," Leia inhaled and shook her head. _I am. I have nothing left._ The girl closed her eyes against the sudden flood of tears.

Han let go of her hands, and Leia opened her eyes. The lack of his touch incited a fear of abandonment within her. Her chest tightened, and she wanted to scream, _don't leave me!_ But that would never happen. Her breath came easy once she ascertained that he had no intention of leaving her at the moment. She watched him remove his jacket. He swung it over her head and around her shoulders. Then he guided each of her arms through the sleeves before he pulled the jacket snug around her body. And although she was secure in his jacket, surrounded by his warmth, his smell, she shivered at the thought that possessing it would not prevent him from leaving.

And this realization led to her desperation. Leia through her arms around his neck, pulled her body flush against his, and buried her head in his neck. "I'm sorry!" she cried. "I'm sorry I failed!"

It took a long second for Han to register her touch and her words. However, once he recovered from the initial shock of her uncharacteristic outburst, he wrapped his arms tight around her, lying one hand on her head protectively. Her words left him confused, "Failed? What are you talking about?"

Leia said nothing. Instead, she clung to him as if she'd never let go. Her breath grew ragged, her tears soaked his neck, and her body shuddered against his. He responded by holding her closer, shielding her with his body as if protecting her from the cold. Han placed a kiss upon the top of head, "Hey, Your Worship. It's okay. You'll be okay…"

She wanted to scream, _no I won't_. She would never be okay again and not because of what those stupid bounty hunters did to her. She had failed; and Han would inevitably leave because he had to now. _Don't leave. Please, don't leave me._ "Please don't leave."

Leia could feel his fear. She began to withdraw from him, afraid that she'd scare him away. Han allowed her retreat mainly because he was used of her pulling away from him. The girl used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe away most of her tears, and Han wiped the rest away with his thumbs.

And then there was the light. Both Han's and Leia's eyes squinted against the assault. Han held his hand up against the light and sighed with relief. He looked down at Leia, "Looks like our ride is here."

The princess nodded, and Han helped her to her feet. He lifted her chin and gazed into her large brown eyes, "You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna take good care of you."

Leia bit her lip. _Who's going to take care of you?_

Han's brow furrowed at her hesitation, "All this…it's just you and me."

The princess dropped her head and nodded. _Until there's no more you._ Leia wrapped her fingers around the hand he held out to her, and they walked over to the awaiting speeder.

Luke jumped out of the speeder, "Leia! I'm so glad you're safe!"

The boy moved to hug her, but Han blocked his path, "We gotta get outa here." Han assisted Leia into the backseat and then joined her. Luke awkwardly stood there, his eyes rapidly blinking. But no one seemed to notice him. He frowned before he climbed into the front seat. Chewbacca peered into the rearview looking glass, catching Han's attention. Han looked away. Chewie revved the engine of the speeder and they were off.

Luke glanced back over the front seat, "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah," Han's voice was sharp. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Leia felt Luke's eyes on her and sensed his hurt incited by Han's curt answer. She shrunk deeper into Han's jacket. Chewbacca grunted, but Han didn't answer him, so Leia didn't know what he said. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing did. She stared at the gray blur outside the window. There wasn't much to look at, and that was fine with her. She wanted to forget that she ever stepped foot on Ord Mantell.

The short trip to the hangar was the longest Leia ever had to endure. A heavy silence pressed down on them, and she was relieved to disembark from the oppressive interior of the speeder. The hangar was active despite the late hour, but Leia wasn't surprised. Ord Mantell was a planet that never slept—mainly because of all the illegal activity that took place here. Leia inhaled and closed her eyes.

Luke placed a hand on Leia's shoulder, "You look tired."

The princess looked up at him and nodded. Han edged closer to her as if he felt he had to protect her from Luke. Leia forced a smile for Luke as she lightly touched Han's elbow. Han hovered for a moment and then joined Chewbacca who was engaged in a heated argument with the hangar manager.

"What were you doing here, Leia?" Luke asked.

"It doesn't matter," Leia turned away and took a couple of steps deeper into the hangar. "I failed."

Luke followed her, "I'm sure the High Command will understand."

_They don't even know I'm here._ Leia hugged herself and nodded, refusing to look Luke in the face. Han and Chewbacca lumbered over.

"Everything's taken care of," Han mumbled. "We're free to leave."

The rebels made their way through the crowded hangar. When they passed a clunky yacht that looked as if it was in style before the Old Republic, Leia turned right and walked away from the group.

Han grabbed the collar of her jacket, "Where you goin'?"

"To my ship, Captain," the princess narrowed her eyes, and Han released his hold on her.

"Nuh-uh, Your Worship," Han shook his head. "We leave together."

"I can't just leave the ship!" Leia's hands flew to her hips in a very Leia-like fashion.

"Why not?" Han crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the angry girl. "The Alliance has lost a lot of ships already. I'm sure one more won't make a difference."

Leia mimicked his pose, but her voice was quiet, "They don't know I have it."

"Whaddya mean 'they don't know'?" Han's voice rose, causing a few being that passed by to look at the group.

"Exactly what I said, _Captain_," the girl hissed through clenched teeth.

Han's expression melted from rage to confusion as he stared into the princess' large brown eyes. All anger and frustration left his voice, "I don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand," Leia turned her back on him and started to walk away.

"Don't make me carry you over my shoulder through this crowd," Han threatened.

The princess whirled around, her large eyes wide, "You wouldn't!"

"Just watch me!" Han roughly grabbed her arm.

"Han!"

Chewbacca's large paw wrapped around Han's neck, and the large Wookie stopped the man in his tracks. Han shook himself loose, "Let me go! I'm not the one being stubborn!"

"I could pilot her ship," Luke offered.

Both Han's and Leia's head swiveled in Luke's direction, "No!"

Luke jumped back, "Sorry." He scratched his head and frowned, "Just trying to help."

But Leia and Han had already forgotten Luke and Chewbacca's presence. Leia jerked her arm out of his grasp, "Don't you dare lay a hand on me!"

To Chewie and Luke's surprise, Han took a step back away from the girl, "I'm sorry."

Leia's large eyes glistened in the dim light as she peered into his. "Don't be sorry, please," she whispered.

Han pressed his lips together, "Then I'm not."

Leia's eyes closed for a moment, and she tried to hold back her smile "Good."

Chewbacca emitted a low growl, catching the rebels' attention. Luke's blue eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open at the sight of the white armor. Han held his hand out to the princess, "Come on."

Leia grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. She stayed close to him as the four of them swiftly walked through the hangar in the opposite direction of the storm troopers. Fortunately, it didn't take too long to get to the _Falcon_. Chewbacca activated the ramp while Han kept watch. Leia grasped his hand with both of hers as her head swiveled from left to right. When she caught Luke's inquiring glance, she quickly looked away and prayed they'd be on their way soon.

The ramp dropped with a hiss and a thud, and the group quickly made their way inside. Chewbacca headed straight for the cockpit. Han gave Luke a nod, "Why don't you help Chewie get us outa here."

Chewbacca stopped in mid-step. He placed a hairy paw on his hip. Han turned away from him and steered Leia in the opposite direction, "Luke can handle it."

Leia closed her eyes and let Han lead her where he wanted, knowing his actions would cause suspicion. She smiled ruefully to herself; her behavior was even more suspicious than his. She was responsible for this entire mess, and she didn't even get anything out of it. When Han stopped, she opened her eyes to find herself in the makeshift medical bay.

The girl shrugged out of Han's grasp, relieved that it was just the two of them again. _Until he leaves,_ Leia hugged herself as she tried to control her trembling. Her legs felt weak, and she gave in, sliding down against the wall until she was just a puddle on the floor.

"Whoa!" Han dropped the scanner and rushed to her side, "Stay with me."

_Stay with me?_ She looked up at him, but his form remained fuzzy and far away. She pushed invisible strands of hair out of her eyes and blinked in an attempt to clear her vision. _I have a price on my head._ She never recalled the _Falcon_ being this cold. She swore she could see her breath when she exhaled. _If I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt, I'm a dead man._

"Leia!" Han tapped her cheek, "You're freezing!" He gathered her into his arms and held her close, and once again, she could feel his fear.

The princess fought to get her wits about her. "No, I'm fine," she gently pushed against Han's chest, and he released her.

"Lemme scan…" both of their eyes fell upon the scanner. It lied in shattered pieces next to them.

Leia twisted a wire between her fingers, "The Alliance will replace this with a better one."

"Oh, great," Han took the wire out of her hand. "A lot of good that'll do us right now."

The girl pushed herself to her feet, "I don't need it. Do you?"

She brushed her teeth against her bottom lip as she watched him awkwardly climb to his feet. He looked so clumsy, so…Leia grabbed his arm to help him up the rest of the way. "Maybe you do," she quipped with a forced smile. But her smile faded when she looked into his eyes, "Han, are you okay?" _Please be okay._

She waited for his reply, held her breath until he spoke, "Yeah, sure." But she knew he was anything but sure. His eyes swirled with anger, regret, and a fear that definitely wasn't characteristic of Han Solo. She shuddered at the thought of Han Solo not being Han Solo. And then she shuddered at the thought that she was the cause of this change in him. _I was only thinking of you._

Leia touched his cheek and then took several steps backward.

"Hey," Han took several steps forward, "where you goin'?"

"I…I'm tired," Leia glanced behind her. "I want to get cleaned up and rest."

"You're hurt," Han reached out a hand to her.

This time she didn't take it, "No, I'm not."

He stopped, but she kept retreating. The lie hung between them, connected them in a way she had never been connected to anyone else. She pressed her fingers to her lips and shook her head. Han's hands dropped to his side, and the connection broke. Leia made a quick escape…escape to where?

She pulled his jacket tighter around her and headed down the hall. Where could she escape to on his ship? Leia headed toward his cabin. It was where she usually stayed when she traveled with him and Chewie. It was where he kept her things, though she never understood why. There were perfectly empty lockers in the other cabins, and his cabin was overcrowded with junk as it was. He reasoned that her things should be where she was sleeping, but she didn't always sleep there. At least, not enough times to warrant her having anything in his cabin.

Leia knelt down beside the bed, _his bed_, and pulled out a cardboard box from underneath it. She removed the lid and rifled through its contents. She pulled out a pair of leggings, some under things, and a large worn sweater. The girl sank back on her haunches and held the sweater to her face. It was _his_ sweater. She had found it some time ago discarded in the depths of his bottomless closet. She had been terribly cold, like she was now, and had boldly rummaged through his closet to remedy the situation. She never asked to borrow it, and he never said anything when she wore it. So his sweater was now hers. She nuzzled her nose against it, inhaling deeply. Its scent was an oddly comforting mix of him and her, and she had to blink away the sting of a fresh wave of tears.

Once behind the refuge of the refresher door, Leia began to peel off the layers of clothing she wore. Every stretch and turn she made ignited a dull to sharp pain in every part of her body. She reached up and began unleashing her hair as she tried to ignore the blood. _She's just a kid!_ She dropped her hair pins on the floor and stepped under the spray of hot water. Her finger pulsed against the controls, elevating the temperature of the water in an attempt to warm the chill out of her. Her skin rose into bumps and turned pink, but still she shivered. She reached out again to the controls, but a loud thump outside the refresher distracted her.

Leia shut off the flow of water and quickly dried herself. She pulled on her clothes, the sweater being the last item, and checked to see if all her bruises were covered in the looking glass hanging on the back of the refresher door. When she was satisfied, Leia collected her discarded clothes and hair pins, lifted her chin, and prepared herself for whatever lied behind the door.

"Are you okay?"

Han's voice was quiet, shaky, and Leia slipped into her confident diplomatic self, "I should be asking you that." Her voice was strong, a sharp contrast to his.

"I was…" Han glanced around the room, and Leia's eyes followed his, "just cleaning up a bit."

"Where are Luke and Chewie?"

"Chewie's grabbing a bite in the galley," Han scratched his cheek. "Luke's been waiting for you."

Leia's bottom lip slipped between her teeth, "I should go see him."

"I told him that you were asleep," the right side of Han's lip rose.

Leia's eyebrows peeked, and she smiled slightly, "I doubt he believed that with the ruckus you were making in here."

"Yeah," Han turned his back on her, "well, he won't be botherin' you." He turned around and held out a vile of pills, "I put some of these in his nerf milk."

The princess rolled her eyes, "Please tell me he at least he made it to a bunk."

"Now what kinda friend would I be if I left him passed out across the holotable?"

Leia's hands found her hips, "What kind of friend drugs a friend?"

Han pressed his lips together, and Leia couldn't note the hurt in his eyes. "I'm not proud of it," he whispered. "I…I was…thinking of you."

She gazed into his hazel eyes and immediately felt horrible for attacking his character. She wished she had more friends like him, but Han, well… there was only one of him. _And soon you will be gone. _Leia stuffed her hands into the opposite sleeves of the sweater, "Thanks."

Han reached behind him and held out a glass of water, "I thought these might help you…sleep."

The girl held her hand out, and Han dropped two small pink pills into it. With the other hand, she took the glass he offered and immediately brought it to her lips. She took two large gulps and handed it back to him without swallowing the pills. He took the glass and replaced it on the table next to the bed. He didn't give the pills a second thought. Leia's stomach flipped. Usually her refusal to do what he wanted would start a war between them. What did she do to him? _I was only thinking of you._

Han pulled back the covers, "Here. Climb in."

"You should get some rest, Han," Leia rolled the pills around in her hand. "Your bed is the best one on this sorry excuse of a ship—"

"And that's why I'm offerin' it to you, Your High and Mightiness," Han interrupted. "Now are you gonna turn down my generous offer?"

Leia winced when Han failed to respond indignantly to her insult. Her shoulders dropped, and she walked over to the bed with her head hung low. She obediently crawled under the covers. Han pulled them over her shoulder, "'Night, Leia."

She looked up into his eyes, and her breath caught. He looked as if he was going to cry. _Please don't feel sorry for me._ "Good night, Han," she whispered, closed her eyes, and waited for him to leave.

Leia stayed there with her eyes squeezed shut as still as she could. She controlled her breathing and forced her muscles to relax. But she couldn't quiet her mind. Leia lied there for as long as she could stand it. She thought she had a stronger will. After all she had been through…she just thought she'd last much longer. She sat up and looked at the glass of water on the bedside table. With a short sigh, Leia popped the pills she still held in her hand into her mouth and washed them down with the water.

The girl rolled onto her back and stared at the bulkhead as she waited for the pills to take effect. She tried to reign in her thoughts, but they continuously escaped her grasp. Flashes of images, worries, regrets, they all swirled around in her head. She pushed some wet strands of hair off of her face, scoffing at the thought of all the tangles she was going to have to deal with tomorrow. If only her hair was the only mess she would have to face. Leia forced her eyes shut, and she rolled unto her side.

And after tossing and turning for some time, the princess finally gave up on sleep. She wished she had asked Han for more of those little pink pills. _Han._ If only she could get him out of her head. Leia shoved the blanket off of her body and dropped her feet to the ground. She didn't bother with the light; there was nothing she wanted or needed to see.

Without a second thought, Leia followed her feet out of Han's cabin and into the hallway. The lights were dim, indicating that no one was wondering about but her. The ship vibrated with a cozy, homelike buzz underneath her stocking feet. She ran her hand along the cold bulkhead, just following her feet.

And then, there she was. Leia found herself in the tight cabin where Han slept not sure why she was there or what instinct had led her here. He lied on his side with his arms curled awkwardly to his chest, and his face was partially smashed against a pillow. Leia's heart caught in her throat. Was it good for her to see him so vulnerable? _I was only thinking of you._ She expected him to jump up with blaster drawn at any moment. It wasn't like Han to sleep so soundly, and that chilled her. What if she was a bounty hunter? Anyone could have crept into the room unnoticed. It just happened to be her.

When he didn't stir, her feet took her to his bedside. She hovered over him, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. What was she doing here? He looked terribly cold. Leia's fingers twitched as her large eyes roamed over his sleeping form. When she conjured up enough courage, she grabbed a corner of the scratchy blanket between two of her fingers and pulled it over his shoulders. Then she stood there with one hand over her mouth not daring to draw a breath.

But Han's respiration never changed. Leia closed her eyes and backed away. She continued to backpedal until she slammed into a wall. Her eyes widened and a stifled gasp slipped out of her lips. _Han…_ The girl's hands clamped tight over her mouth as she slid down the wall. _I'm sorry I failed._ Her body shook with silent sobs. She had never felt so foolish in her life. Her plan had been so simple. Go in, meet the contact, and make the pay off. It had seemed so simple. Leia squeezed her eyes shut tight against the memories of hands and helmets and menacing faces. And then there was Han. She had never seen him so full of rage; it almost scared her more than those lustful bounty hunters. _She's just a kid!_

Leia slowly opened her eyes to reassure herself that she was there upon the _Falcon_ with her dearest friends in the universe, and Han was sleeping peacefully. If he was peaceful, shouldn't she be as well? The tears now rolled freely down her face, and she made no attempt to stifle this downpour. The bounty hunters had scoffed at her and taken all the credits that she owned. She had nothing left; there was no second chance. Her dark eyes found the ceiling as she expelled a silent wail. Did she really believe she could have trusted the bounty hunters to take her credits to Jabba the Hutt? Han would have reprimanded her for such naivete. But he would never know. She would never spill her secret, not even to Luke. Her plan couldn't have been more foolish, but what else could she do? She had to do something. She just couldn't imagine his death at the hands of some scummy gangster. More importantly, she couldn't imagine her life without him. All Leia wanted to do was take away his excuse to leave because just maybe if he didn't have to pay off the debt, he would chose to stay. _I'm sorry I failed you._

Han rolled over onto his back, emitting a rumbling snore. In a flash, Leia darted out of the room and ran down the hall, smacking into Luke's chest. Without a sound, she collapsed in her young friend's arms. Silently, Luke held her, and they sunk to the ground. He leaned against the bulkhead, cradling her head against himself. He stroked her hair as she soundlessly sobbed. No words were exchanged. There was no need. He was always there for her. No matter what. Was she being fair to him? Luke leaned his cheek on top of his head, and Leia felt like her insides were being torn apart. She squeezed him tighter.

Chewbacca stood in the shadows and waited for his young friends' emotions to run out. He was surprised the young'uns were still stirring. He knew Han dropped a couple of sleeping pills in Luke's milk and had offered some to Leia. Maybe she didn't take them. Still, it was late for either of them to be up. Even stranger still, was that Han was dead asleep. He wondered if Han had a few of those pills himself. His human friend rarely used them, and Chewie surmised something terrible had happened when Han rescued Leia.

Chewbacca carefully detangled the two who were sound asleep in the hallway. He deposited each of his charges into their respectful cabins before returning to the cockpit to make sure they made it back to the base without a problem.


End file.
